Thursday, November 21, 2013

I Believe

I've had a hard week and am fighting a few of my own self esteem demons so I just needed a little reminder about what keeps me happy!


 I believe in glamour. I believe in love and compassion. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in Jesus. I believe in living each day like it is a gift. I believe that words are important and should be used wisely. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. Lastly, I believe in the healing power of laughter.

Have a wonderful week!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Paleoista: The Modern Cave Girl

I'm sure you have heard the paleo diet called a lot of things: Caveman Diet, Primal or the Paleo Lifestyle. Until a month ago I called is scary and refused to think about giving up my pasta. I've been doing a lot of reading in my search to loose weight and get healthier. What ever name you choose it's a way of eating based on the idea that we are healthier when we mimic the nutrition of our hunter-gatherer ancestors. It's a movement, it's an investment, it's a choice and it's not always easy. I'm going to slowly jump in and see how things go!


Let me break the bad news fist: Eating paleo means avoiding many foods that are at the top of your favorites list. Different paleo practitioners promote varying guidelines. I'm going to follow the guiding rules of meats and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, a little starch and I wish I could say I've managed the NO SUGAR but I'm not there yet! I also fully believe in local, organic, and hormone free products. Yes, I'm that person and no I don't wear hemp.  However I'm also on a serious budget...the whole husband in school thing. So I don't always get to splurge on the hormone free items. I do it when I can and don't feel guilty if I can't afford it that week.

The coolest thing I've found so far, there are so many online blogs and resources for eating Paleo and still being able to have items like pancakes and dessert.

I won't lie. I still plan to eat dairy and sugar in moderation and enjoy alcohol. I've always been more of a spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law kind of gal. Also with my love for food I will never close myself off from trying something. However I do think that Paleo is a good every day option for me. Remember it's a personal choice that allows you to be HEALTHY & HAPPY!

Each of the “No” or as my husband says when talking me down from my diet ledge “don't do it” foods has its own unique properties that ensure its place on the list. Generally, these foods are excluded because they either negatively affect your metabolism, or cause systemic inflammation, or in my case both. I can't say I dislike them, they all taste fabulous but my body has a love hate relationship with them. (I'm looking at you, grains.)

The “don't do it list” includes the following, I will be trying really hard to be avoiding these items. Again I'm not perfect and I've learned baby steps are a better approach for me, I'm going to limit if not remove completely:
Processed foods
Grains
Legumes
Soy
Added Sugar
White potatoes
Vegetable oils

The Yes Please List:
I will try to eat: animal-based protein, vegetables, fruits, and natural fat sources.
All animal proteins of the local organic, hormone free variety...
All vegetables, except as listed above
All fruits
Quality fat sources: coconut products, olives and olive oil, avocados...yes, please and thank you
Nuts and seeds
It turns out I've finally caved to a way of eating that I think I can embrace. You will see a recipes pop up here and there as I slowly switch my eating.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The Baby Debate & Adoption

When I tell people Michael and I didn't necessarily want to have children, I get a lot of mixed responses. The most popular being, "you don't like children?" After many years of fighting the desire to smack said people I now calmly shake my head and respond that we love children we just aren't sure having the is the right decision for us. I've come to understand, it might be a fair questions considering I come from a very large family, I babysit for my friends who need a night out and Michael and I are a very dotting aunt and uncle to all 6 of our nieces. So why not have children of our own?

About equally, people tell me, "Oh, don't worry you'll change your mind." (Really, don't worry? I wasn't worried in the first place. Our not wanting kids isn't like a bad haircut of a stressful week at work which you might be told "Don't worry. It'll get better.") I think my largest issue is how personal this subject is. I have friends who desperately want kids but struggle with infertility. Many times after a discussion about why we don't want kids I'm left with my own question, how do people think it's appropriate to dig into my decisions about having or not having children? For all they know we could have been trying to conceive for years unsuccessfully and have come to terms with it not being God's plan. It just boggles my mind that people can be so adamant about something but so insensitive at the same time.

Occasionally, someone will tell me,"but you're so good with kids!" (Yes, yes I am. I'm the oldest of six kids, was a nanny in high school, and volunteered with youth organizations for many years. I like little kids, you know why? Because at the end of the day I can give them back to their parents.)

People talk about the joy, satisfaction and total fulfillment that is derived from having children. Or my personal favorite, "You don't know real love until you have loved a child." (Thank you for diminishing the love my husband and I share...I had no idea that wasn't real love.) People, honestly, will do anything to persuade you to have children. Which I will never understand. If you aren't ready for kids please wait. If you are never ready, don't do it! The decision to have a child isn't like adopting a gold fish or buying a few purse. They aren't an accessory or a box to check off your to-do-list.

However, though all my tough talk, I really do like kids, and I fee like there will come a point in our lives when Michael and I are ready to settle down a little bit and join the baby train. But, to be honest pregnancy terrifies me. I don't want my body to be a host for another person. I don't want to have everyone tell me what I can and can't do to my body while pregnant. I don't want to gain weight (an issue I already struggle with) I don't want the pain. I don't want to take 6 weeks off work to recover. 

Most of all, I don't want to stop drinking wine and eating sushi.

Michael and I have talked about adoption as a possibility. There are so many babies out there without homes, and that seems like a really great way to have a baby and not be pregnant. But when I tell people my thoughts on adoption, I'm told that I should have my own baby if I can because I'd want it to look like me or Michael. Or that pregnancy is worth it to have your own baby.

Or that if I can have my own baby, I should because I don't know what I'm missing and there are women who desperately want to be pregnant but can't. 

I'm not sure what my ability to lack or desire to be pregnant (if I even have the ability-who knows I may have issues, never having tried to get pregnant before.) has to do with another women's ability and desire to be pregnant. I truly feel for women who want to be pregnant more than anything but can't. But I'm certainly not going to tell someone who isn't pregnant and doesn't want to be-that they don't know how lucky they are to be able to have children.

Here's the thing. For many women, it's either have a baby or don't have a baby at all. And that is fine if that's what they want. I respect your decision. If you're a mom, then be an amazing mom, and I'll support you, love YOUR kids, and bring the wine to you. All I ask in return, please don't undermine my lack of desire to be pregnant or my ability to adopt just because...it's not how you did it? Or, you don't understand?

I usually leave these conversations infuriated, frustrated and sad with nothing to really say in response. I'd like to say it's mostly strangers who evoke these conversations and feelings but I would be lying. Many a family function or outings with friends have led to the same discussions time and again...people you just want to accept you for you. I've realized it's a crossing of beliefs, they are so strongly rooted in what they believe should make you happy they can't see past it. I would like something to say in return than my usual response of "Thank you for your concern but we are perfectly fine." It's just such an emotional issue and one I've been sorting out in my head for the 7 years we have been married. The snarky comebacks are always there but I can't bring myself to use them. Deep down I know it will only make the conversation worse.

In the end I just want acceptance for being me. Please appreciate me for my gifts, my personality, my friendship, my willingness to love your kids, don't tag on a disclaimer that says I'll be complete once I have children. I'm more than my ability to produce cute babies.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

The Dirty Thirty-Dreams to Goals

I'm a list maker by nature. If I want to get something done I need to write it down. I love getting to scratch things off my list when I can completed them. I've never been good at keeping a journal so my list are more of a road map to my life. They are my version of where I have been and where I want to go. On of my favorite quotes reminds me why I write things down: 
" The difference between a goal and a dream is the written word."- Gene Donohue
 I have a lot of goals in life and sometimes it's easy to lose focus on what I'm working towards. Tony Robbins said, "setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible." With my big THREE ZERO only a few years away I thought I would compile my list of goals into my top DIRTY THIRTY. Here they are in no particular order:
  1. Eat, drink and hike through Italy
  2. Attend a blog conference
  3. Complete a Triathlon (1.2 mi swim, 56 mi bike, and a 13.1 mi run)
  4. Find a church that feels like home
  5. Learn to change a flat tire on my bike
  6. Renew my wedding vows
  7. Coach a season of Girls on the Run
  8. Take my family on a weekend retreat (siblings families and parents), and make it a yearly event
  9. Learn to Kit Surf
  10. Buy our dream property
  11. Run a 2:30 half marathon
  12. Switch to a whole food/paleo eating style
  13. Grow Crafty into a top blog/contract business
  14. Attend a TED Talk in person
  15. Join a book club
  16. Begin to make an annual donations to three charities (local & international)
  17. Take a warm and sunny beach vacation
  18. Learn to use the manual settings on my camera
  19. Present at a conference
  20. Learn to meditate
  21. Connect to the community on a deeper level
  22. Take a kayaking trip
  23. Learn to snowboard
  24. Go climb a Mt. with my husband
  25. Be debt free with the exception of our mortgage
  26. Travel to another country once per year
  27. Run in 12 races in 2014
  28. Evolve my yoga practice
  29. Keep a project life book
  30. Attend an event a formal black tie event


Sunday, November 10, 2013

Culinary Inspiration

A huge goal I have for 2014 is to eat better. Think Eat To LiveNot Live To Eat I heart food. Michael claims I have the palate of a millionaire trapped in middle-class American’s mouth. I will admit, I enjoy all varieties of seafood especially a good shellfish, wine is my friend, and I have a mild obsession with Italian desserts (gelato & cannoli’s, honestly, who wouldn't?) All joking aside, we both love good cuisine and the culture around it. Unfortunately, in 2013 our eating habits took an expensive vacation to the quick, easy and not so healthy due to long hours at work and then total chaos as we totally pulled a 180 on our lives and changed jobs, homes, and the husband returned to school, which lead me to a lack of motivation for cooking. So, I’ve taken it upon myself to seek a little motivation and bring the passion we have for food back into our own kitchen.

A few things you must know about me and food! I believe food should be enjoyed like a fine wine. I believe that meal times should be enjoyed leisurely with good company and wholesome delicious cuisine. I’m always happy to add another place setting to the table, just be sure to bring your appetite, your smile, and a bottle of wine for the cook;) My cooking gravitates towards the Spanish (tapas) and Italian (antipasti) style of two or three small plates with varying flavor profiles served family style (options yes, please and thank you).

I have to tell you, I can’t wait to start whipping up some mouthwatering meals from the cookbooks I recently purchased. The food photography is just superb. The dishes pop of the pages and the ingredient lists are so clean and locally available I know we won’t be missing our 2013 food vacation anytime soon. I've already tested the fish tacos and they have been nominated to make on a few upcoming group dinners.

How about you guys, anyone trying to eat better going into the new year, finding new culinary inspirations, enjoy hosting meals or have a killer cookbook suggestion we should check out?

P.S. If you’re interested I’m currently cooking from: Small Plates: Appetizers as Meals, Plenty, Power Foods and Michael is digging: The big Book of Juices.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Seafood Bake On The Shore

In the theme of Thankful November. I thought I would share the highlight of my summer. I was abundantly blessed this year to spend my birthday in August with some of my favorite people. While I don't particularly like being the center of attention, I love using my birthday as an excuse to gather all my family and friends in one place and spoil them. I love the Oregon coast every misty, green enchanting bit of it so I decided this year I wanted to host my party on my favorite beach. 
My love of the beach is probably only second to my love of seafood. It's a problem, my husband keeps telling me if I was an animal I would be a sea otter getting to swimming all day, breaking oysters on my tummy and napping he's convinced I'd be in heaven. So we figured why not throw in my otter tendencies and go full seafood and just like that my theme was done: barefoot on the beach, seafood bake on the shore. 
A shout out to my Crafty partner Kristen for creating these awesome invites for me!
This party wasn't going to just be a little shindig on the beach, no sir I had big plans for this little weekend of mine. While I was excited to spend Saturday with all my friends it's been years since my family was able to take a vacation together. With kids still in sports, high school, college and a few of us grown up with kids or busy careers it's really hard to match schedules. I really wanted to give us a chance to decompress and enjoy each others company before everyone headed into a busy fall. The hubby and I have been blessed for years to enjoy a friends family cabin on many group trips and I couldn't think of a better place to share with my family. A few phone calls later and our friend helped me arrange hosting my family and a few guests at the family cabin. A huge blessing that allowed us to afford to host everyone.
My little slice of shared heaven...
Magically we managed to get everyone to run away to the beach with us for a full weekend. My family and a few friends joined us at the cabin for the weekend of games, shared meals and walks on the beach. Then all of our guests joined us on Saturday for the main event. My wonderful sister-in-law even postponed her family's trip to Disneyland by a day so they could join us for the seafood bake portion of the weekend. The family helped set up our make shift table and cook off the amazing seafood. While guests flew kites, shucked oysters and played in the sand.
Kite Master...
Dad managed the boil pots...
Guests learned how to shuck oysters...
 Baked for the faint of heart...
Raw for the adventurous...
We all enjoyed baskets of fresh oysters, crawfish, bbq chicken, corn on the cob, and mussels Oregon coast seafood bake style! The best part was the built in ability to use driftwood logs for our seating and burying the table legs into the sand for easy family style seating.
This is a weekend that brought everything I'm thankful for together in one place the family God gave me, the extended family he blessed me with, the friends he graces my life with and this wonderful state I get to call home. I think this picture says it all.
Happy heart...

Monday, May 13, 2013

The Dalai Lama, He Is.


This weekend my husband and I attended His Holiness the Dalai Lama Environmental Summit. I can't believe I got to scratch this off my bucket list. The summit was inspiring and thought provoking.While I am not a Buddist I have read and respect many of their teachings. I don't see who wouldn't support the active practice of compassion, ethics and wisdom. Past that the details get a little farther away from my own beliefs so I choose to respectfully disagree and move forward with applicable wisdom I can implement in my life.


We started the day by attending the morning panel discussion: Universal Responsibility and the Global Environment. The speakers included the Dalai Lama, Governor John Ktizhaber, Andrea Dubin (Director of the Oregon Environmental Council), and David Suzuki ( A highly awarded scientist including the United Nations Environmental Program Medal.) 


(waiting for the Dalai Lama to take the stage. Please forgive the horrible picture quality for some reason my iphone didn't like the lighting in the space.)

A few fun facts from the morning:



1.) The Dalai Lama wore a visor that color coordinated with his robes during the whole event. He reminds me of a very wise grandfather.

2.) He talks like Yoda he does....I think it's the use of questions when actually making a statement.

3.) He laughs often and completely and it is so contagious, you can't help but laugh along with him.

4.) He has a great sense of humor...and said the word sex in one of his answers. I couldn't stop laughing about it.


His Holiness the Dalai Lama talks to Dr. David Suzuki, a scientist, during the environmental summit on 'Universal Responsibility and the Global Environment' at Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Portland, Oregon on May 11, 2013. Motoya Nakamura/The Oregonian
www.dalailama.com/gallery

I wasn't a huge fan of the first part of the summit. I felt that the other panelists were being overly political about their answers and almost used the time as a platform for re-election. I would have liked a slightly deeper talk about how to solve problems rather than just listing the problems we are facing. I did find that when the Dalai Lama spoke he kept coming back the three points: education, compassion and wisdom.



After the panel we broke for lunch and had a chance to stretch our legs and grab some food a zillion miles away from the Coliseum. It was our attempt to try and avoid the 10,000 other people in attendance and chat about our notes. After a relaxed lunch we headed back to our seats for the afternoon to listen to the Public Talk by the Dalai Lama.


His Holiness the Dalai Lama waving to the audience. Photo/Kurt Smith via www.dalailama.com/gallery


His afternoon talk inspired and reminded me that I really need to become active in practicing compassion. He said, “The root of compassion is a biological factor: the affection we receive from our mothers when we are born. Such affection, which has nothing to do with the practice of religion, is crucial to our very survival. What’s more, it’s a unique human quality to be able to extend our sense of compassion to the welfare of others. If we confine ourselves to external, material values, to the neglect of such inner values as compassion, we’ll never find the contentment that is the mark of real happiness.”

He cited the example of the pleasure we get from buying a new car; for a few days we may be really thrilled. But if after a month or two our neighbor buys a new car, we start to think of ours as old and ugly, and we want to get rid of it. What has changed is not the car, but our attitude to it.

In the same context; His Holiness suggested we need to strengthen such inner values as contentment, patience and tolerance, as well as compassion for others, which he refers to as secular ethics. Keeping in mind that it is expressions of affection rather than money and power that attract real friends, and compassion is the key to ensuring our own well-being.

At the end of his talk all the members of the audience were presented with white silk scarves which we held up to him then hung them around our necks. It was amazing to see the auditorium filled with white. His Holiness showed us his appreciation by explaining that the Tibetan custom of offering such scarves derives from an Indian tradition of offering a shawl; the material is silk that traditionally came from China, and the scarves are inscribed with auspicious verses written in Tibetan. Finally, he said the smooth texture and white color indicate the virtue of living a calm, peaceful life with a pure heart.

I can't think of a better way to end this post than to share his closing words.
In the very end he as he waved to everyone in the cheering crowd, His parting words were:
“We are all human beings; the potential I have, you have too.